<\/p>\n
Kate Solovieva is a former professor of psychology, a PN master coach, and PN\u2019s director of community engagement.<\/p>\n
And the above quote has become one of her taglines.<\/p>\n
Though Coach Kate has coached thousands of \u201cregular\u201d clients, her specialty is coaching other coaches.<\/p>\n
Through her work as an instructor with PN\u2019s Level 2 Master Health Coaching Certification<\/a>, a facilitator for PN\u2019s private online coaching communities, and a coach in her own private practice, she gets a front-row view of all the questions and challenges both new and seasoned coaches have.<\/p>\n Coach Kate knows what other coaches are up to.<\/em><\/p>\n She\u2019s seen the victories and <\/em>the blunders of thousands of coaches, and today, she\u2019ll share three common mistakes she sees them making.<\/p>\n If there\u2019s anything Coach Kate wants, it\u2019s to see her peers achieve wild success, so her hope with this article is to help coaches:<\/p>\n We\u2019ll cover three common coaching mistakes, plus the solutions to overcome them. Let\u2019s get into it.<\/p>\n Coach Kate describes a coaching business as a three-legged stool.<\/p>\n \u201cThe vast majority of folks who get into coaching start with the coaching leg,\u201d says Kate.<\/p>\n \u201cThey want to become the best coach they can be, which is amazing. However, to become the best coach you can be, information and theory only get you so far.\u201d<\/p>\n As Kate says, \u201cYou cannot become the best coach you can be in a vacuum, talking to yourself in your office.\u201d<\/p>\n Which is why she suggests challenging the desire many coaches have to wait until their knowledge is \u201ccomplete.\u201d<\/p>\n Instead, she suggests, just start selling.<\/p>\n Why?<\/p>\n Coaches who start selling sooner also <\/em>get to start coaching sooner. <\/strong><\/p>\n Over time, they\u2019ll have an advantage over the coaches who want to be \u201cthe BEST coach they can be\u201d by getting 12 certifications before <\/em>selling their services.<\/p>\n Meanwhile, the coach who \u201cdoesn\u2019t really know what they\u2019re doing\u201d but has started practicing anyway will begin building their business and <\/em>their coaching experience\u2014and likely improve their odds of overall success.<\/p>\n There\u2019s a natural inclination among aspiring coaches who want to do a good job to get those 12 certifications before <\/em>they start coaching.<\/p>\n \u201cSometimes we hold on to this hope that we\u2019ll get to a point where we feel confident enough at fielding any question that ever comes our way,\u201d Kate says.<\/p>\n Because as every coach knows, when you start telling people what you do, they\u2019ll have questions. And often, they\u2019ll have questions you can\u2019t answer, and that can feel uncomfortable\u2026 mortifying even.<\/p>\n (You\u2019re supposed to be the expert<\/em>, right??)<\/p>\n According to Coach Kate, the above belief\u2014that you\u2019re supposed to be an authority with all <\/em>the answers\u2014is based on an erroneous assumption.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen I show up to a coaching conversation, my role is not \u2018the expert,\u2019\u201d she says.<\/p>\n Yes, coaches have to show up to client interactions with a baseline of nutrition knowledge.<\/strong> (For example, if a client asks you about good sources of protein, you should be able to list some.)<\/p>\n But coaches don\u2019t<\/em> have to show up with a prepared lecture, or encyclopedic knowledge of nutrition minutia or biochemistry. (You don\u2019t have to feel bad if you can\u2019t recall the ratio of omega 3 to omega 6 in flax oil, or all the steps in the Krebs cycle that produces ATP.)<\/p>\n Even when you know the answer, Kate suggests that not <\/em>answering right away can actually be more productive.<\/p>\n \u201cIf a client asks you about seed oils, you can simply say, \u2018That\u2019s a great question. I can get you some information on that if you\u2019d like, but I\u2019m curious, why do you ask?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n While the expert might respond with a summary of the latest research on seed oil processing and its health effects, the coach will strive to learn more about why <\/em>the question is meaningful to the client.<\/strong><\/p>\n For example, after inquiring further, you may learn that your client heard about seed oils from their friend Susan, who changed the fat sources in her diet and lost ten pounds. And the client is curious to see if they <\/em>might also lose ten pounds if they eliminate seed oils.<\/p>\n With this kind of response, you learn more about what the client is really <\/em>after (a weight loss solution), which ultimately helps direct you to more effective strategies (which probably have nothing to do with seed oils).<\/p>\n \u25b6 Takeaway nugget: <\/strong><\/p>\n Coaches should have a firm understanding of fitness and nutrition principles.<\/p>\n However, clients often don\u2019t need more information; <\/em>they need coaching<\/em>.<\/p>\n When a client asks you a question, consider whether the answer will help them take action.<\/p>\n If it will, offer them what you know. (If you don\u2019t know the answer, you can simply say, \u201cI\u2019m happy to find more information about that for you.\u201d)<\/p>\n If it won\u2019t, consider turning their question into a coaching opportunity. Ask, \u201cCan you tell me why you\u2019re curious about that?\u201d Their answers will likely lead you to a more productive conversation.<\/p>\n Now, maybe it sounds obvious that clients aren\u2019t just clones of us.<\/p>\n That said, especially when we feel all warm and vibe-y with our clients, it can be easy to forget in the moment.<\/p>\n For example, maybe you\u2019re someone who\u2026<\/p>\n If you\u2019re a coach, you probably went into this line of work because you value nutrition, exercise, and overall health. And often, we assume our clients hold these same values. But the truth is, that\u2019s not always the case.<\/p>\n Says Kate:<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s nothing inherently superior about valuing your health. If you do, yes, you\u2019ll probably experience better health and live longer. But not everyone shares those values. That\u2019s a tough one to swallow.\u201d<\/p>\n Of course, without seeing your clients for the unique people they are\u2014with their own individual preferences, values, and goals\u2014you may find yourself suggesting behaviors that aren\u2019t possible for them, or striving for goals that aren\u2019t meaningful to them.<\/p>\n Over time, this becomes frustrating for your clients and <\/em>you: They feel like you don\u2019t \u201cget\u201d them, and you feel like a \u201cbad\u201d coach.<\/p>\n The opposite of assuming (often unconsciously) that clients are like you is, well, assuming nothing.<\/p>\n As best as you can, check your biases and assumptions at the door, and approach each client session with an open, curious mind.<\/p>\n Ask questions, such as:<\/p>\n \u201cWhat inspired you\u2014or pushed you\u2014to come in today?\u201d<\/p>\n And:<\/p>\n \u201cWhy is that goal meaningful to you?\u201d<\/p>\n And:<\/p>\n \u201cWhat skills do you have today that might help you achieve your goal? What skills do you feel you might be missing?\u201d<\/p>\n Listen.<\/p>\n Withholding assumptions can be particularly difficult when clients share some obvious similarities with you. (Perhaps they\u2019re also a single mom, or they\u2019re also training for a triathlon, or they\u2019re also a cancer survivor.)<\/p>\n But even when clients share similar experiences or goals, their biology, social context, personal history, and many other factors can make their \u201csimilar\u201d experiences, in fact, totally different.<\/p>\n Coach Kate says in these cases, you can show that you relate to them, while also inviting them to describe their own experience. She suggests using the following question:<\/p>\n \u201cI know what [insert shared experience<\/em>] has been like for me, but what has [insert shared experience<\/em>] been like for you?\u201d<\/p>\n Once you have a clear picture of a client\u2019s values, priorities, and reasons for change, you can assess which actions they\u2019re ready, willing, and able to take. (Again, don\u2019t make assumptions here. Just because you find meal prep quick and easy, doesn\u2019t mean your client will.)<\/p>\n If you want to go through this exercise with your client on paper, use our Ready, Willing, and Able Worksheet<\/a>.<\/p>\n \u25b6 Takeaway nugget: <\/strong><\/p>\n Remember that clients:<\/p>\n Get to know your unique client, their specific goals, and what actions they <\/em>can realistically execute (and maybe even get excited about).<\/p>\n This is, actually, very<\/em> natural.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s a reason we go into coaching. It\u2019s because we care and we want to help clients. We want to see them succeed,\u201d says Coach Kate.<\/p>\n But caring can be a double-edged sword.<\/p>\n \u201cWith our clients, we carefully decide on the habits and behaviors that need to occur\u2026 And then they walk off and either do the thing or don\u2019t do the thing. That\u2019s brutal.\u201d<\/p>\n No matter how sound and foolproof your advice is, how well-thought out your plan, how much you <\/em>care, ultimately, you have no control over whether a client executes it, and gets results.<\/p>\n Naturally, as a coach, you might feel frustrated, even heartbroken when clients don\u2019t do what they say they\u2019ll do, or when they\u2019re not seeing the outcomes they were hoping to see.<\/p>\n However, according to Kate, this isn\u2019t <\/em>something coaches should try to avoid completely. It\u2019s part of the job, and it\u2019s often a sign that your work has meaning to you. <\/strong>(It\u2019s a good thing.)<\/p>\n \u201cHowever, I think there\u2019s a point there where we can start caring more than the client themselves,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n And that\u2019s precisely where to draw to the line.<\/p>\n At PN, we often say that \u201ccare units\u201d are the currency of coaching.<\/p>\n Care units are how much time, energy, attention, authenticity, and true \u201cheart\u201d you can bring to helping, serving, and caring about your clients.<\/p>\n Your client also has a certain amount of care units.<\/p>\n How much time, energy, attention, authenticity, and \u201cheart\u201d can they bring to their own change and growth projects?<\/p>\n (Most of the time, not that much. Which is totally normal.)<\/p>\n Our advice: Care one care unit less<\/em> than your client does.<\/p>\n How do you do that? One approach\u2026<\/p>\n So, how do we maintain an appropriate level of emotional investment\u2014but also help clients stay on track?<\/p>\n \u201cThis is where I really like to get really clear on what my role is as a coach,\u201d Coach Kate says.<\/p>\n \u201cBecause if you are very, very clear on what your role is as a coach, then you can sort of go through the list, and check in with yourself: \u2018Did I show up? Did I follow up? Did I coach this person to the best of my ability?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n For example, as a coach, it\u2019s reasonable to be responsible for:<\/p>\n Meanwhile, the client is responsible for:<\/p>\n Ideally, clearly delineating these responsibilities should happen early in the coaching relationship.<\/strong> Some coaches prefer to have an open discussion, while others have actual contracts that outline coach deliverables and client expectations.<\/p>\n This early communication can also be a way of vetting coach-client \u201cfit.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen I\u2019m having that initial conversation with a prospective client, I can ask, \u2018What does accountability look like to you?\u2019 If the client replies, \u2018Well, I want you to text me every morning and night, and I want you to make sure I\u2019ve done my workout, and also ship groceries to my house,\u2019 then I will be the one to say, \u2018I don\u2019t think this is a good fit.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Coach Kate says this kind of early clarity can also prevent coach-client friction in the future.<\/p>\n Clear boundaries and expectations at the outset means clients are less likely to be disappointed if they assumed their coach was going to \u201ctake on\u201d more, and coaches are less likely to burn out from shouldering more than they should.<\/p>\n It even protects the coach-client relationship in extreme (though not uncommon) situations such as when a client \u201cghosts\u201d before a paid contract is over.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen somebody doesn\u2019t reply to me, I don\u2019t take it personally. It\u2019s not their job to reply, but it is<\/em> my job to check in,\u201d Coach Kate says.<\/p>\n \u201cIf I don\u2019t hear back, I just check in on Monday, and then again on Monday. And again, and again, and again\u2014trying all the contact methods they\u2019ve provided me\u2014until their coaching contract is over. If we get to that point, they\u2019ll get an email from me saying, \u2018Hey, I hope everything\u2019s okay. My door is always open. I hope you\u2019re doing well.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n \u25b6 Takeaway nugget: <\/strong><\/p>\n Make a list\u2014either for your own reference, or to include in a contract that new clients have to sign\u2014of the accountabilities you have as a coach.<\/p>\n (Hint: These are usually specific actions<\/em>, like \u201cText, email, or phone once a week to check in\u201d or \u201cHost monthly virtual lectures on various nutrition topics for group clients.\u201d)<\/p>\n Make sure to have a conversation about expectations and responsibilities with all clients, ideally before beginning to work together, or at least in the first session.<\/p>\n It\u2019s maybe not the most \u201ccoach-y\u201d way to write an article: Point out a list of your mistakes, then hand you solutions to deal with them.<\/p>\n But if you\u2019ve made the above \u201cmistakes,\u201d we want you to hear it from us:<\/p>\n We\u2019re proud of you.<\/strong><\/p>\n If you\u2019ve gotten sidetracked by the above, it\u2019s likely because you really<\/em> care. And that\u2019s never going to be a mistake; it\u2019s a strength.<\/p>\n That said, although these \u201cmistakes\u201d are completely normal, and most coaches make them, they can <\/em>limit your potential as a coach, and as a business.<\/p>\n And we want to see you succeed.<\/p>\n (If you liked this article and want to learn more, listen to the full episode of the Coaches Compass podcast<\/a>, where the interview with Coach Kate Solovieva was originally conducted.)<\/p>\n\n
Coaching mistake #1: Focusing on coaching instead of selling<\/h2>\n
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Solution: Remember to show up as a COACH, not an EXPERT<\/h3>\n
Coaching mistake #2: Assuming your clients are exactly like you<\/h2>\n
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Solution: Get a clear picture of the client\u2019s baseline\u2014and determine what actions they\u2019re <\/em>ready, willing, and able to take<\/h3>\n
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Coaching mistake #3: Getting too attached to client results<\/h2>\n
Solution: Clearly separate client and coach responsibilities<\/h3>\n
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Bonus mistake: Forgetting to give yourself a pat on the back<\/h2>\n
If you\u2019re a coach, or you want to be\u2026<\/h2>\n