<\/p>\n
This comment, coming from my friend Anna, caught me off guard.<\/p>\n
Anna\u2019s a highly competent law professional. She\u2019s a critical thinker and she fights in the heavyweight division when it comes to cutting through BS.<\/p>\n
But the Anna I knew was falling into some painful traps that seemed to be bypassing her inner hawk-like skeptic.<\/p>\n
She\u2019s wanted to lose around 15lbs for some time now and came to me to share how stuck<\/em> she was feeling in this goal.<\/p>\n She brought up an avenue she was exploring: the new BPA-free tupperware set.<\/p>\n \u201cInteresting. What inspired you to focus on that?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I\u2019ve been reading about how microplastics in food containers can mess up our hormones and cause weight gain,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n I squinted.<\/p>\n To backtrack, this is right after she told me how she\u2019d been struggling to be consistent at the gym, had been relying on takeout too often, and had been sacrificing boring old sleep for adrenaline-inducing doom scrolling.<\/p>\n So I asked:<\/p>\n \u201cWhat about trying to get more consistent with your workouts, or prepping more homemade meals during the week?\u201d<\/p>\n And Anna said:<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, but I\u2019ve tried that a thousand times. If it were that simple, it would have worked already.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Ignored or delayed those hard-but-worthwhile habit changes in favor of some ultra-specific, niche magic bullet that\u2019s supposed to \u201cchange everything.\u201d<\/p>\n Spent hours of research on the ultimate, most optimal workout instead of devoting those hours to just doing the basic workout you already know how to do.<\/p>\n Waited to feel more inspired, motivated, or just less busy<\/a>.<\/p>\n Why do we do this?<\/strong><\/p>\n Buying new gear or a popular supplement feels <\/em>like making progress.<\/p>\n Consuming YouTube videos or articles about stuff you can change feels <\/em>like you\u2019re doing something.<\/p>\n And waiting until the \u201cright time\u201d feels<\/em>, well, right.<\/p>\n Except, nothing actually changes until we take real, consistent action.<\/strong><\/p>\n We\u2019re clever, us humans. And we\u2019ve come up with lots of sneaky ways to avoid the basic, unsexy, difficult actions <\/em>we need to take that actually drive change.<\/p>\n In this article, we\u2019ll explore how to take an honest and compassionate look at why you might be distracting yourself from taking impactful action.<\/p>\n You\u2019ll learn:<\/p>\n We all know what those basic, fundamental health habits are:<\/p>\n \u25b6 Exercising, ideally 30 minutes a day<\/strong>, putting in moderate-to-vigorous amounts of effort, with a mix of aerobic and resistance training.<\/p>\n \u25b6 Eating mostly nutritious, minimally-processed foods.<\/strong> If 80 percent of your diet comes from whole or minimally-processed foods, you\u2019re doing an excellent job. (Translation: \u201cPerfection\u201d isn\u2019t required; pizza can be part of a healthy diet.)<\/p>\n \u25b6 Eating enough protein to support muscle mass, appetite regulation, and body recomposition goals, if you have them.<\/strong> Aim for about 1.2 to 2.2 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight (for most people, this adds up to about 4-6 palm-sized portions of lean protein per day).<\/p>\n \u25b6 Prioritizing getting seven to eight hours of quality sleep. <\/strong>You can\u2019t always control how well you sleep, but having some wind-down time before bed can help, as can waking up at the same time every day.<\/p>\n \u25b6 Avoiding or at least reducing excessive consumption of alcohol or drugs, including cigarettes. <\/strong>No fun, we know. But it\u2019s for a good cause.<\/p>\n Easily, we could add stuff like prioritizing positive, nurturing social relationships, managing stress, and probably others, but just the above list is uncommonly met.<\/p>\n In fact, only six percent<\/em> of Americans perform all five of the following basic health behaviors:1<\/sup><\/p>\n If you\u2019re doing the math, that means close to 94 percent<\/em> of Americans aren\u2019t <\/em>doing the basics.<\/strong><\/p>\n Yet, these foundational behaviors also help us achieve a long list of common goals, whether that\u2019s reaching a healthy weight, improving athletic ability, or just living a longer, healthier life.<\/p>\n So why do we struggle so much to do <\/em>them?<\/p>\n Here are three common barriers we see among clients (and coaches!), plus potential solutions to overcome them.<\/p>\n That push-and-pull feeling you have when you think about making a change?<\/p>\n It has a name, and it\u2019s called ambivalence. <\/strong><\/p>\n Ambivalence describes the mix of feelings you have when you contemplate, say, waking up earlier so your mornings are less stressful, or cutting down on TV time.<\/p>\n We naturally and normally feel ambivalence about change\u2014\u201cI want this, and at the same time, that.\u201d<\/p>\n (For example, wanting to eat healthier, and also<\/em> wanting to have your favorite treats whenever you want without constraint.)<\/p>\n We also naturally and normally feel resistance<\/strong> towards change\u2014\u201cI want this, and at the same time, not.\u201d<\/p>\n (For example, wanting to stop using your phone as a mindless distraction, but not<\/em> wanting to deal with the anxiety you get whenever you\u2019re left with your own thoughts.)<\/p>\n These contradictory emotions can seem frustrating, puzzling, or \u201cillogical.\u201d Yet, ambivalence and resistance are fundamental parts of the change process<\/strong>.<\/p>\n The higher the stakes of change, the more likely we are to feel a mix of strong and unexpected emotions, pushback, rebellion, angst, and other types of resistance and ambivalence.<\/p>\n Rather than signaling that the change is a wrong move, strong ambivalence and resistance tend to signal that this change matters to us.<\/strong><\/p>\n In a sense, it\u2019s good news.<\/p>\n It tells us we care.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n Maybe you\u2019ve decided you want to be healthier. So you declare that, starting Monday, you\u2019re going to exercise for an hour everyday and <\/em>\u201ceat clean\u201d at every meal and <\/em>sleep eight hours every night.<\/p>\n (Currently, you don\u2019t have a regular exercise habit, don\u2019t particularly like vegetables, and regularly stay up past midnight.)<\/p>\n Now, let\u2019s be honest: You\u2019re asking yourself to change a lot of stuff at once.<\/strong><\/p>\n And the last time you created an elaborate plan for overhauling your life\u2026<\/p>\n \u2026 Did it work?<\/p>\n Probably not.<\/p>\n (And that\u2019s okay.)<\/p>\n When we feel frustrated or stuck in our current situation, making a plan filled with idealistic dreams can provide us temporary relief. <\/strong><\/p>\n And our brain has several (normal) cognitive biases that prevent us from judging the future accurately.<\/p>\n We often think we\u2019ll have more time, energy, attention, and motivation in the future than we really do.2 3 4 5<\/sup><\/p>\n There\u2019s a powerful, instantaneous comfort that comes with overloading our future self. (Because after all, we won\u2019t start the plan until Monday.)<\/p>\n The problem with this is:<\/p>\n Big, complex plans often don\u2019t fit into our already busy, complex lives.<\/strong><\/p>\n We under-estimate how many smaller tasks are hidden in the bigger plans.<\/p>\n When we (almost inevitably) are unable to execute these ambitious goals, we blame ourselves, our personality traits, our \u201cwillpower\u201d or \u201cdiscipline,\u201d and build a pitiable story about how we \u201cstruggle with consistency.\u201d Or how living this way is \u201cimpossible\u201d.<\/p>\n Then, sadly, we fulfill that prophecy.<\/p>\n This barrier comes from the following common belief:<\/p>\n \u201cIf getting healthy just took eating, sleeping, and exercising moderately well, then everyone would be healthy.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Because everyone knows<\/em> they should eat their vegetables, get seven to eight hours of sleep per night, and stay active, right?<\/p>\n (We\u2019d agree.)<\/p>\n But let\u2019s go back to the previously mentioned statistic:<\/p>\n Only 6 percent of Americans are consistently performing the most basic health and fitness behaviors. <\/strong><\/p>\n If we add on slightly more advanced\u2014but still very basic\u2014behaviors like eating five servings of fruits and vegetables every day, optimizing protein intake, and effectively managing stress, that number would shrink significantly.<\/em><\/p>\n So, the first thing is to believe<\/em> that these simple behaviors work. Because they do. It\u2019s just that most people (probably close to 99 percent of us) are not doing them all simultaneously<\/em> and consistently<\/em>.<\/p>\n The second thing is to accept that these simple behaviors are a little bit boring. Because they are. Part of the reason we\u2019re attracted to new diets or \u201cmagical\u201d supplements is because we just want something more interesting <\/em>to try.<\/p>\n That\u2019s especially true if we\u2019ve already sort of tried the \u201ceat more vegetables\u201d thing and it didn\u2019t \u201cwork\u201d for us in the way we expected.<\/p>\n With something new and cutting-edge, there\u2019s also the possibility of a new outcome, a new us. <\/strong><\/p>\n And of course, that\u2019s incredibly appealing.<\/p>\n Thing is, most hardcore, \u201cindustry secret,\u201d or \u201ccutting edge\u201d tools and strategies are, respectively: unsustainable, inaccessible, or ineffective (or unproven).<\/p>\n They\u2019ll take your effort, your time, and often your money, but without giving you a good return on your investment\u2014all the while distracting you from the stuff that actually works.<\/p>\n Another lie in the health and fitness industry is that you have to be \u201cperfect\u201d to maintain great health. You know, eat only organic salads and chia seeds, be able to run a marathon, and wake up at 5 am every day to meditate and write in your gratitude journal.<\/p>\n The truth is, perfection definitely isn\u2019t required.<\/strong><\/p>\n Depending on how you look at this, this could be a relief to hear, or a disappointment.<\/p>\n On the one hand, it\u2019s nice to know that you don\u2019t have to have it \u201call together\u201d to be healthy\u2014even above-average healthy.<\/p>\n On the other hand, many of us pursue better health with the belief that our optimal or even \u201cperfect\u201d self will one day, with the right plan or routine, be attainable.<\/strong><\/p>\n But \u201cperfect\u201d health is an illusion.<\/p>\n Humans, even exceptionally healthy ones, get sick, get weird rashes, have digestive problems, need reading glasses, get into slumps, or just otherwise have a series of bad days.<\/p>\n None of us are \u201csafe\u201d from those life events, and accepting that can feel a little\u2026 vulnerable.<\/p>\n It\u2019s much more comfortable to believe that if you just take this powdered algae supplement, or follow this specific morning routine, you\u2019ll be immune to any kind of painful human experience.<\/p>\n The irony is, to achieve your realistic <\/em>\u201cbest self,\u201d you probably have to accommodate your \u201cworst self\u201d too.<\/strong> You know, the one who\u2019d rather watch another episode of Love is Blind <\/em>than work out, or eat a party-size bag of Doritos and call it dinner.<\/p>\n Because life happens.<\/p>\n Work gets busy.<\/p>\n Or your kid goes through a \u201cphase.\u201d<\/p>\n Or it\u2019s pie season.<\/p>\n Any number of obstacles, distractions, and competing demands make it impossible for perfection to be maintained with any kind of consistency.<\/p>\n Which is why we need to let go of the illusion that a \u201cperfect\u201d self exists\u2014the one who always has the energy, will, and option to make the ideal choice\u2014and support what our real <\/em>self wants and needs.<\/p>\n We\u2019ve got four steps below to help you.<\/p>\n Now that we know what\u2019s potentially getting in the way of taking productive action, here are four steps to get unstuck.<\/p>\n Before you (or a client) start undertaking something you want to change, it\u2019s helpful to understand your deeper motivations first.<\/p>\n Do a little investigating by asking questions like:<\/p>\n You can also go through one of our favorite motivation-mining exercises, The 5 Whys<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n When you know why <\/em>you want to change something, and you\u2019re clear on the consequences of not <\/em>taking action, you\u2019ll be more likely to feel that deeper, more sustaining push to keep going, even when things get tough.<\/p>\n We can do all the things!! Really!! We just can\u2019t do all the things\u2026 all at once.<\/p>\n Effective change means being able to realistically:<\/p>\n What are the essentials in relation to your goal? Regardless of all goals, they likely include a movement practice, a nutrition practice, and\/or a recovery practice.<\/p>\n If you want some guidance on how to select the most effective action for your goal, check out our Skills, Practices, and Daily Actions Cheat Sheet.<\/a> <\/strong><\/p>\n Here\u2019s how to use it:<\/p>\n \u25b6 Start with the domain<\/strong> you\u2019re most interested in improving (such as \u201cNutrition\u201d or \u201cStress\u201d).<\/p>\n \u25b6 Then, get specific about what skill<\/strong> within that domain you\u2019d like to improve (for example, \u201cEat well intuitively\u201d), plus the practice<\/strong> that most appeals to you within that skill (say, \u201cEat to satisfied\u201d).<\/p>\n \u25b6 Lastly, choose a daily action<\/strong> from the list of examples under your chosen practice. (For example, \u201cRecord hunger and fullness levels at the start and end of meals.\u201d)<\/p>\n Once you choose your action, make it work for you by following step 3, below.<\/p>\n \u201cI like to challenge a client to set a pathetic goal. If it\u2019s so pathetic, then obviously you can do it, right?\u201d says Kate Solovieva, PN Super Coach and Director of Community Engagement.<\/p>\n Sound inspiring?<\/p>\n Maybe not.<\/p>\n But if you\u2019ve been struggling with consistency, it\u2019s exactly where to start.<\/p>\n Ask yourself:<\/p>\n Five minutes of walking? 10 push-ups? One extra portion of veggies? Three conscious deep breaths before every meal? Nothing is too small; it just has to be something.<\/em><\/p>\n Now you\u2019ve got your floor.<\/strong><\/p>\n Then ask yourself:<\/p>\n One-hour of all-out effort at the gym? Two hours of meal prep that will feed you and your family for the next three days? A 45-minute guided meditation?<\/p>\n This is your ceiling.<\/strong><\/p>\n Now that you\u2019ve identified your \u201cfloor\u201d and your \u201cceiling,\u201d you\u2019ve defined a flexible range of actions that can adapt to your fluctuating, unpredictable, real life.<\/p>\n But applying<\/em> this range requires a paradigm shift:<\/p>\n Your health habits aren\u2019t an \u201con\u201d or \u201coff\u201d switch; they\u2019re on a dial.<\/strong><\/p>\n When life is sweet and smooth, you can turn your exercise, nutrition, and sleep dials way up\u2014if you want. Bust through your PRs at the gym, eat all the arugula, meditate like a monk.<\/p>\n But if life gets nuts, you don\u2019t have to switch off completely.<\/p>\n Just turn the dial down a little.<\/p>\n The below is a visual representation of how this might work for exercise, but you can apply this same thinking to your nutrition, sleep, stress management, or whatever you\u2019re working on.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The important part: Even if you do your \u201cfloor\u201d or \u201cdial level 1\u201d action\u2014even if it\u2019s for days on end\u2014it still \u201ccounts.\u201d<\/p>\n You still get the gold star.<\/p>\n Doing the bare minimum isn\u2019t <\/em>failing. <\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s succeeding, in the context of a real, messy, beautiful life. <\/strong><\/p>\n Health and fitness professionals often forget how different their lives are from their clients.<\/p>\n For example, many coaches work at gyms, enjoy being physically active, and hang out with other active people. Exercising regularly is almost easier to do<\/em> than not do<\/em>, because, as Coach Kate says, \u201cthey\u2019ve built a life that makes that habit seamless.\u201d<\/p>\n So if you want to make your health goals more likely, Coach Kate offers this advice:<\/p>\n \u201cBuild an ecosystem that makes failing nearly impossible.\u201d<\/p>\n When they want to make a change, many people assume that good intentions and willpower will be enough to carry them through.<\/strong> (And when they fail, naturally, they blame themselves for being \u201cbad\u201d or \u201cweak.\u201d)<\/p>\n We often forget about the context and environment that shapes <\/em>our behaviors<\/strong>\u2014making certain actions more likely or less likely to occur.<\/p>\n A recent review from Nature Reviews Psychology <\/em>ranked different behavior change strategies and found that access <\/em>was the number one influencer of people\u2019s behaviors. (People who lived in neighborhoods with affordable grocers close by ate better, just like people who had to drive a long distance to the closest gym were less likely to exercise.6<\/sup>)<\/p>\n Not everyone can change neighborhoods, but most people have some <\/em>degree of control over their more immediate environments, and can leverage this power to shape desired behaviors.<\/p>\n One example is the \u201ckitchen makeover<\/strong>,\u201d where you make sure foods you want <\/em>to eat are washed, prepped, and at the front of the fridge, ready to eat on a whim. Meanwhile, foods that don\u2019t<\/em> support your goals get tossed, or relegated to the highest cupboard. (When you need a stepladder from the basement to reach the cookies, you might find you eat them less.)<\/p>\n (If you want to try it out, check out our Kitchen Set-up Assessment <\/a>worksheet.)<\/p>\n Think about the goal you want to achieve, and the behaviors that support it. Then, evaluate how you might make small changes to your environment by:<\/p>\n Invest your energy building the ecosystem that nudges you to make desired actions the obvious<\/em> choice. This requires a little more work on the front end, but the payoff will be greater for less overall work.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re a perfectionist, or a former straight-A student, that line hurt to read.<\/p>\n (Don\u2019t worry. This C+ won\u2019t result in your parents telling you that they\u2019re disappointed.)<\/p>\n But what all of the above barriers and solutions have in common, is that they recognize and work with our inherent imperfection.<\/p>\n None of us is perfect, and expecting as much often results in failure (or at best, short bursts of success, followed by a crash).<\/p>\n Adopt an attitude of compassion and acceptance towards your human self\u2014who\u2019s most likely trying their hardest\u2014and work with <\/em>your vulnerabilities, instead of constantly expecting yourself to grit your teeth against them.<\/p>\n There will be times you\u2019re getting \u201cA\u2019s\u201d in fitness. That\u2019s awesome. And you also don\u2019t need to aim<\/em> for C+. Just don\u2019t think of yourself as a failure when you have to dial it down.<\/p>\n Living a healthy, meaningful life means constantly striving to do our best\u2014while also allowing for flexibility, mistakes, and bad days (or seasons).<\/p>\n You\u2019ll be surprised at how much better \u201cgood enough\u201d is than nothing. Especially in the long run.<\/p>\n Click here to view the information sources referenced in this article.<\/a><\/p>\nWe\u2019ve all done this before.<\/h3>\n
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The stuff you know you should do (but probably aren\u2019t doing consistently)<\/h2>\n
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By the way, ambivalence is normal.<\/h2>\n
Basics Barrier #1: You have ambition overload.<\/h2>\n
Basics Barrier #2: You think only hardcore, \u201cindustry-secret,\u201d or \u201ccutting-edge\u201d stuff works.<\/h2>\n
Basics Barrier #3: You think your efforts (and your results) have to be perfect.<\/h2>\n
4 steps to start taking effective (and realistic) action<\/h2>\n
Step #1: Explore the why before the how.<\/h3>\n
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Step #2: Prioritize the most effective actions.<\/h3>\n
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Step #3: Make sure you can take action, even on your worst day.<\/h3>\n
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Step #4: Create an ecosystem that supports you.<\/h3>\n
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Embrace C+ effort.<\/h2>\n
References<\/h2>\n