<\/p>\n
I had been struggling with my weight for about six years, and my obsession with how I looked was starting to dominate my life.<\/p>\n
I only had two to three shirts that I felt comfortable in. The only thing that mattered was that they didn\u2019t make me \u201cfeel fat.\u201d Even those chosen shirts were always under my West 49 sweater, for extra coverage.<\/p>\n
The cherry on top of this presentation was my slouched shoulders\u2014a defense mechanism to protect against exposing my \u201cman boobs,\u201d the body part that had dynastic reign for being my biggest insecurity.<\/p>\n
I felt that my body held me back from enjoying countless moments of my life, and by the ripe age of 13, I decided I was sick of it.<\/p>\n
I figured the only way I could change this purgatory was by changing my body.<\/p>\n
I started exercising three to four times a day. For my first two meals a day, I drank a sludge of water mixed with \u201cweight loss smoothie powder\u201d (really just a glorified protein shake). Whenever I \u201ccheated,\u201d I punished myself the next day by eating even less or exercising even more.<\/p>\n
In about 5 months, I lost 60 lbs. One third of my body weight to be exact. <\/strong><\/p>\n This was how I spent the summer transitioning from elementary school to high school. Counting calories over making memories.<\/p>\n To no surprise, this was met with endless praise. And it felt good. Scratch that, it felt incredible.<\/p>\n I had experienced both sides now: One where I felt valueless because I was in a fatter body, and one where I felt accepted and prized because I was in a thinner body.<\/p>\n In another version of this story, I might\u2019ve learned something from my newly widened perspective: I might\u2019ve gained empathy, seeing the unfair stigma projected at people in larger bodies. I might\u2019ve gained bravery, advocating for more body acceptance, regardless of someone\u2019s size.<\/p>\n But instead, I participated in the problem. <\/strong><\/p>\n I built up the identity of being a \u201cformer fat person\u201d who is proof that \u201canybody can lose weight.\u201d<\/p>\n However, as this script typically goes, over the next few years, I gained a lot of the weight back.<\/p>\n This sent me into a depression. I felt like I had lost my value; like I had won the lottery and blew through my fortune.<\/p>\n That was the pattern I repeated for almost 15 years.<\/p>\n For me, adopting a more body-neutral approach created a paradigm shift\u2014it offered a way to uncouple my appearance with my happiness. It also caused me to ask some deep questions about my body, and the kind of life I wanted.<\/p>\n Questions like:<\/p>\n \u201cDo I want my self worth to be defined by my external appearance?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDo I want to continue this cycle\u2014and potentially pass it on to any future kids I might have?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat would my life look like if I fought to value myself for who I am as opposed to what I look like?\u201d<\/p>\n My answers weren\u2019t immediately clear. But body neutrality created an opportunity to step off the hamster wheel of chasing aesthetic goals\u2014and finally, truly reflect.<\/p>\n In this article, I\u2019ll walk you through the process of adopting a more body neutral approach to your own self image and self-care.<\/p>\n You\u2019ll learn:<\/p>\n Let\u2019s begin.<\/p>\n Body neutrality is a mindset that encourages you to value how your body functions <\/em>and feels <\/em>over how it looks. <\/strong>This perspective helps you develop self-acceptance, while still working to care for yourself in ways that promote overall health.<\/p>\n In practice, this looks like:<\/p>\n \u2705 You exercise and eat nutritiously\u2014not because it makes you look a certain way\u2014but because it makes you feel<\/em> good.<\/em><\/p>\n \u2705 You still have treats (because life is too short to be deprived of pizza!) but you don\u2019t eat them to excess because they don\u2019t make you feel the best, physically.<\/p>\n \u2705 You wear clothes and celebrate your appearance in ways that feel authentic, but how you \u201cdisplay\u201d yourself isn\u2019t the foundation of your self-worth.<\/p>\n \u2705 You don\u2019t always love all aspects of your body, but you don\u2019t let that stop you from enjoying your life; Improving your appearance doesn\u2019t \u201cearn\u201d you the right to be happy.<\/p>\n \u2705 You might still care about how you look, but you broaden your self-concept so it also includes your values and your inherent worthiness as a human.<\/p>\n I value seeing friends and family. I value playing rec sports. I value new experiences.<\/p>\n When I\u2019ve been heavier, I\u2019ve neglected these things in favor of isolating myself.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll do them again when I lose weight\u201d is something I\u2019ve uttered to myself more times than I can count.<\/p>\n Body neutrality helped me realize I still deserved these things\u2014no matter how I looked.<\/p>\n Body neutrality isn\u2019t just for people in larger, or otherwise marginalized bodies.<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s also useful for people with \u201cideal bodies,\u201d who\u2019ve been the recipients of validation and privilege because of the way they look.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve worked with clients who are fairly satisfied with their appearance, but they still struggle with their body image because their self-worth relies on it,\u201d says Shannon Beer, registered nutritionist and body image coach.<\/p>\n People with idealized bodies sometimes aren\u2019t living the life they want either, because they have to exhaust their energy to maintain an image of \u201cperfection.\u201d<\/p>\n (If you want to know what kind of sacrifices it takes to meet those \u201cideal\u201d standards, check out: The cost of getting lean: Is it really worth the trade-off?<\/a>)<\/p>\n That\u2019s a quote from Jessi Kneeland, body neutrality coach and author of Body Neutral: A Revolutionary Guide to Overcoming Body Image Issues<\/em>, when they sat down with some PN coaches to talk about body-neutrality.<\/p>\n (Want to listen in on the whole conversation? Watch it here: PN Coaches discuss body neutrality and negative self-talk<\/a>)<\/p>\n The goal with body neutrality isn\u2019t<\/em> to love your body and all of its parts all of the time. <\/strong>Nor is it to be so toxically positive that you ignore real\u2014and sometimes negative\u2014feelings about your body.<\/p>\n That just isn\u2019t realistic for most people.<\/p>\n Instead, an underrated goal is to feel sort of\u2026 meh.<\/em><\/p>\n You\u2019re not overly glorifying or <\/em>criticizing your body; its appearance just doesn\u2019t hold that much importance.<\/strong><\/p>\n When you\u2019re used to hating your body, getting to neutral (or \u2018meh\u2019) can actually be hugely freeing. From there, you may learn to appreciate yourself in a deeper, less appearance-centric way.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n In practice, you may love certain parts about your body\u2014but also feel ambivalent or mildly negative about other parts.<\/p>\n For example, you may see your stomach and feel ashamed because you don\u2019t like what you see.<\/p>\n This feeling is uncomfortable, but it\u2019s not \u201cright\u201d or \u201cwrong.\u201d You just don\u2019t want that feeling to dictate your behavior. (Such as seeing your stomach and then saying, \u201cAlright, I\u2019m not going out tonight,\u201d or, \u201cDiet starts tomorrow!\u201d)<\/p>\n To give you a personal example:<\/p>\n As a dude living in North America, I feel pretty \u2018meh\u2019 about being 5\u20199\u201d tall.<\/p>\n Would I love to be 6\u20192\u201d?<\/p>\n Sure.<\/p>\n But I\u2019m not<\/em> 6\u20192\u201d\u2014and I can\u2019t change that. My height won\u2019t ruin my day and I surely won\u2019t be depriving myself from the things I enjoy most in this life because of it.<\/p>\n Some people worry that if they adopt a more body neutral approach to their health and fitness, it means they have to relinquish any desire for physical change.<\/p>\n They also might worry that being more body neutral might make them lose certain aspects of their appearance that they like (such as muscular legs or a slim torso).<\/p>\n Here\u2019s the thing: Body neutrality advocates for health. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Being body neutral doesn\u2019t mean your body can\u2019t change.<\/p>\n It just means your self-worth isn\u2019t dependent on that change, and that your whole life isn\u2019t consumed by the pursuit of a physique goal.<\/p>\n If you\u2019ve been starving yourself and overexercising to the point of burnout, body neutral principles will encourage you to disengage from those extreme activities in the pursuit of a specific physique.<\/p>\n If you\u2019ve been overeating and avoiding exercise because you can\u2019t stand your body, body neutral principles will encourage you to tune into your genuine sense of care and love for yourself, and help you choose food and movement that support your body\u2014regardless of its shape.<\/em><\/p>\n In this sense, body neutrality can have a balancing effect on health and fitness behaviors<\/strong>, and, according to Beer, is unlikely to take away from physical health, if applied correctly.<\/p>\n Plus\u2026<\/p>\n There\u2019s nothing inherently wrong with having an aesthetic goal.<\/strong><\/p>\n Body neutrality rejects physical or aesthetic change only if it\u2019s to the detriment<\/em> of your overall mental, emotional, social, physical, and existential health.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Congratulations: Just setting the intention to step away from an appearance-centric approach to health and fitness is a great start.<\/p>\n But, ultimately, it\u2019s only action that creates deep, lasting change.<\/p>\n So, here are five tangible strategies you can work on immediately to develop a more body neutral approach.<\/p>\n Stop waiting to achieve the \u201cideal\u201d body in order to be able to enjoy your life, and start doing more of what you love now.<\/em><\/p>\n Start with something easy that you tend to stop yourself from doing when you feel insecure about your appearance.<\/p>\n When I was in my worst spots, I stayed inside too much\u2014even though I love being outside. It might sound silly but even reading outdoors in nice weather was helpful for me.<\/p>\n The point is: It can be that small.<\/p>\nUntil I stumbled on something called \u201cbody neutrality.\u201d<\/h3>\n
\n
What is body neutrality?<\/h2>\n
Everyone can benefit from body neutrality.<\/h3>\n
\u201cThe \u2018meh\u2019 is the magic.\u201d<\/h2>\n
Body neutrality and aesthetic goals<\/h2>\n
5 things you can do today to be more body neutral<\/h2>\n
Strategy #1: Do the things you love today. <\/em><\/h3>\n