Although we’re in the depth of winter, and the bloom of peak season color may feel painfully far away, New Year’s Day brings with it the promise of a new year of gardening. Last year, I used the final GPOD of the year to share my 2025 garden resolutions (Happy New Year’s Eve GPOD!), which did help me keep those intentions in the front of mind (even if I’m still working on getting into a good routine with houseplant maintenance). However, I had a different mindset this year. Rather than lament over all of the gardening practices I could be doing better, I’m entering 2026 with one resolution in mind: spend more time embracing the joy of plants.
Sometimes gardening can become a pursuit of perfection. How do I ensure the biggest blooms or the most abundant harvests? How can I make this border even better? This plant is nice, but I bet I can find something even more beautiful! Suddenly, the restorative practice of gardening becomes a burden and we forget why we started digging in the first place—for the love of plants. This post serves as a reminder to step back and enjoy the process. No matter what succeeds or what fails in the garden this year, remember to enjoy the journey and savor even the smallest moments of plant magic around us. Here are some of my most magical garden moments of 2025.
Late winter and early spring brought the usual excitement of new seedlings. One of my resolutions last year was to be smarter about the variety and number of seeds I start, and progress was definitely made. More modifications should make this year the most successful veggie garden yet.
Spring was a flurry of activity that always flies right by, but a highlight that I won’t forget is this visit to New York Botanical Garden on a rainy, quiet day. Minimal crowds allowed me to really take in the new growth and spring blooms, and capture some beautiful photos. Check out some more highlights: GPOD on the Road: New York Botanical Garden in Spring
2024 was a banner year for hydrangeas in New England, but the summer of 2025 was dominated by the rose. This Oso Easy Italian Ice® rose (Rosa x ‘CHEWNICEBELL’, Zones 4–9) in my mother’s front garden was covered in blooms all season long.
Back in the veggie garden, this cherry tomato volunteer was a hilarious little surprise. Escaping from a crack on the outside of one of my raised beds, this tiny tomato plant miraculously emerged. I didn’t expect much from it, but left it to grow through the season rather than cutting it out. It gave me yet another surprise when it grew, thrived, and produced delicious fruit throughout the summer and into fall.
Back to my travels, Coastal Maine Botanical Garden has been on my bucket list for many years now and I finally managed to make the trip this summer. While there is something to enjoy in these gardens all year-round, I was astounded to see this botanical wonder at its peak performance. If you missed the highlights I shared back in July, be sure to check them out: GPOD on the Road: Coastal Maine Botanical Garden in Early Summer.
One last garden highlight was much closer to home, but just as magical. At the end of August I visited Maywood Gardens in Bridgewater, Connecticut for the one day a year that it is open to the public. As part of the Garden Conservancy Open Days program, this sweeping estate becomes available for the public to explore and enjoy. But looking back on it now, I don’t believe I ever shared highlights from the trip on the blog… so keep an eye out for those this year!
Lastly, a late fall trip to western Pennsylvania brought many moments of quiet appreciation for the wonderful world of plants all around us.
Thank you all for another fabulous year of Garden Photo of the Day, and I look forward to seeing and sharing more of your incredible gardens this year. Follow the NEW directions below to submit your photos to Garden Photo of the Day!
We want to see YOUR garden!
Have photos to share? We’d love to see your garden, a particular collection of plants you love, or a wonderful garden you had the chance to visit!
You can also send 5–10 photos to [email protected] along with some information about the plants in the pictures and where you took the photos. We’d love to hear where you are located, how long you’ve been gardening, successes you are proud of, failures you learned from, hopes for the future, favorite plants, or funny stories from your garden.
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Fine Gardening Recommended Products
Corona E-Grip Trowel
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Handle Material: Aluminum. Handle Length: 14-1/2 in. Overall Length: 14.5 in. Head Material: Aluminum. Handle Color: Red.
Lee Valley Garden Obelisks
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Sturdy yet lightweight, these obelisks provide ample support for climbing plants while being easy to install and move. The medium obelisk stands 68 1/2″ high overall with a diameter of about 9 1/2″, compact enough for smaller containers indoors or out. The large size stands 86 1/2″ high with a diameter of 15 3/4″, ideal for larger outdoor spaces and containers.
Make this creamy butternut squash mac and cheese with a velvety dairy-free sauce that’s made just from veggies and seasonings. It’s a comforting, easy, and quick dish the whole family will love.
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If you landed here, you’re in the right place. Life’s full, energy is limited, and the last thing you need after a long day is another recipe that feels like homework. The Cooking Burnout Club exists for exactly that reason, to take the pressure off dinner so you can eat food that tastes amazing, fits into real life, and helps you hit your protein goals without spending hours in the kitchen.
This is real food for real life, minimal steps, simple ingredients, efficient prep, and meals that actually satisfy. No complicated techniques. Just approachable, nourishing dinners you’ll want on repeat.
Every week I share a fresh 4-day dinner plan you can follow or remix based on what’s in your fridge. Each recipe is built to save your time and energy while delivering big flavor.
This post contains affiliate links. As an amazon associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Click here to read my policy and more about affiliate links.
Here’s what we’re cooking this week:
Cajun Chicken Sausage Orzo
This one-pot wonder brings zesty Cajun spice, juicy chicken sausage, and tender orzo together with vibrant veggies. Little effort. Big payoff.
Better-than-Chipotle bowls made with frozen peppers, store bought fajita seasoning and quick-cooking shrimp. Fully customizable and ready fast, perfect for nights when you want something fresh without extra work.
A cozy, smoky one-pan meal made with frozen potatoes, chickpeas and marinara, zero chopping required. The eggs poach right in the sauce for a comforting dinner ready in about 20 minutes.
A simple, flavorful bowl made with ground chicken, a quick pantry sauce and jasmine rice cooked in the instant pot (or microwave-ready rice). Comes together fast and tastes like your favorite takeout with almost no effort.
President Donald Trump speaks during an event on prescription drug prices in the Roosevelt Room of the White House on Dec. 19.
Evan Vucci/AP
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Evan Vucci/AP
President Donald Trump said he takes a higher dose of daily aspirin than his doctors recommend and he has been doing so for 25 years.
The comments came in a wide-ranging interview with The Wall Street Journal published Thursday.
“They say aspirin is good for thinning out the blood, and I don’t want thick blood pouring through my heart,” Trump, 79, told The Journal. “I want nice, thin blood pouring through my heart. Does that make sense?”
The president takes 325 milligrams of daily aspirin — one “adult” over-the-counter pill. That is four times higher than the recommended 81 milligram low-dose aspirin used for cardiovascular disease prevention.
What do doctors and researchers say?
Since 2022, the nation’s leading panel of experts in disease prevention, the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force, has recommended anyone over 60 not start taking a daily dose of aspirin to prevent cardiovascular disease, if they don’t already have an underlying problem. The group said it’s reasonable to stop preventive aspirin in people already taking it around age 75 years.
Here’s more of what you need to know about aspirin and cardiac health.
What is aspirin, and what is it used for?
Aspirin — part of the same family of drugs as ibuprofen and naproxen — at low doses reduces the production of a molecule that helps blood clots form.
The over-the-counter drug is commonly used to relieve headaches and pain in adults. It’s also used as a prophylactic medication — as in Trump’s case — in about one in seven older Americans.
The ideal dose
Experts recommend that these patients take 81 milligrams of aspirin every day to reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease. (The dose used to be described as a “baby aspirin,” but aspirin is no longer recommended for regular use in children.) The low dose is often prescribed — rather than Trump’s 325 milligram dose — because there’s no benefit to taking a higher dose, according to a large study published in 2021.
“There’s some evidence that if you’ve already tolerated the higher dose of 325 milligrams, there’s probably very little additional risk to taking that over the 81 milligram dose,” says Dr. Eleanor Levin, a preventive cardiologist at Stanford Medicine. “The higher dose is unnecessary, though.”
Some patients should take low-dose aspirin for their entire life — regardless of their age. These include adults who have undergone heart bypass surgery to reroute blood around a clogged heart artery and those who have had a heart attack, among others. Levin also recommends that certain patients with asymptomatic coronary disease — buildup or narrowing of the heart’s arteries — take the drug regardless of age.
Trump was diagnosed with chronic venous insufficiency in July, and a memo released by the White House in December noted his cardiovascular system is in “excellent health.”
Common side effects of aspirin
Though safer than other blood thinners, patients taking the drug — even at low doses — are at an increased risk of bleeding in the stomach and brain. But these adverse events are unlikely to cause death.
Bleeding risk rises with age, and Levin says alcohol use can increase that risk further. Aspirin can also cause less severe bleeding, such as bruising and small cuts. Trump has experienced both and his doctor attributed the symptoms to his use of aspirin, according to a White House memo from July. Levin says these side effects are common and not alarming.
“This shows it’s working,” Levin says. “As you get in your late 70s and 80s, you get a lot of thinning of the skin, so it’s more delicate. You’ll have patients come in, and they don’t remember bumping against a table or a chair, and they have bruises all over their arms.”
During The Journal interview, Trump also addressed concerns about his hearing and sleep, which he largely dismissed. While age-related hearing loss is more common, aspirin can also cause hearing difficulties known as tinnitus. Its effect on sleep is not widely understood.
Is more aspirin better — or dangerous?
Levin says Trump’s unconventional use of aspirin is likely not life-threatening, though she says she doesn’t recommend her patients take higher doses of aspirin if not warranted.
She added that anything above 2,400 milligrams — a dose historically used to treat arthritis — should be considered high-dose aspirin, and even higher amounts come with serious safety risks.
“I’m sure his doctors told him the same thing,” Levin says. “We don’t have to raise alarm bells.”
But she gives her patients different directions: “We have a discussion of the risks versus benefits and an informed discussion. We go by the literature and the studies, and they follow my advice.”
Michal Ruprecht is a Stanford Global Health Media Fellow
If you’re thinking of raising chickens in your backyard and want to make a perfect home for them by yourself, then this is the right place.
Building a chicken coop with reusable and leftover things can be fascinating.
This idea of making your own things helps to build a strong bond with the flocks. You can easily add or remove things according to climate change.
Believe me, you’ll learn more about chickens this way.
You must consider space, climatic conditions and number of chickens before building a budget friendly chicken coop.
Best Cheap Material to build Chicken Coop
The most budget-friendly chicken coop materials are usually things you can get free or cheaply locally, like pallets, scrap wood, bamboo, and old roofing, combined with bought items like wire mesh and screws.
Pallets
Pallets are one of the cheapest ways to build coop walls and sometimes floors because many shops and warehouses give them away for free or at very low cost.
They are strong enough to form wall sections, but you should choose safer, non‑chemically treated pallets and screw them to a simple wooden frame for stability.
Old doors, window frames, bed frames, and leftover lumber can be cut and reused to make walls, doors, and framing.
This is a good way to save money and also make large access doors for cleaning or egg collection without buying new timber.
Bamboo
In India, bamboo is very budget‑friendly and easy to find, which makes it excellent for light coop frames or movable chicken tractors.
Bamboo poles can be used for the main structure, roosts, and supports, but they should be tied or screwed firmly and kept off wet soil to last longer.
Roof Sheets and Tarps
Old corrugated metal or other roofing off‑cuts give a strong, waterproof roof that protects chickens from sun and heavy rain.
If you cannot find metal, a wooden frame covered with a good‑quality tarp or thick plastic sheet can work as a low‑cost temporary roof, though it needs regular checking for leaks.
Wire Mesh and Hardware
Tight wire mesh (hardware cloth) is one of the few things worth buying new because it keeps out dogs, rats, and snakes better than loose chicken wire.
Basic hardware like screws, hinges, and latches is also essential, since strong doors and secure latches stop predators from opening the coop at night.
How to Build a Cheap Chicken Coop Using Old Furniture?
Turn a solid old cupboard, wardrobe, or cabinet into the main coop body, then add ventilation, a secure door, roosts, and a small run around it.
1. Choose and Prepare the Furniture
Pick a sturdy wooden wardrobe, cupboard, or large cabinet that is tall enough for roosts and wide enough for a few hens.
Remove shelves and drawers you do not need, scrape off loose paint, and repair any rotten or broken panels with scrap wood.
2. Plan Doors and Access
Use the existing cabinet doors as your main access door; add strong hinges and a latch if they are weak.
Cut or open a smaller “chicken pop door” at the bottom front or side so chickens can go in and out easily.
Cut openings high on the sides or back and cover them from the inside with tight wire mesh for ventilation.
If you have an old window or glass panel, mount it on one side or door for natural light, making sure it is firmly fixed and predator-proof.
4. Build Nesting Boxes from Drawers
Use old drawers or small shelves as nesting boxes by reinforcing their bottoms and fixing them to the inside wall about 30–45 cm above the floor.
Add straw or other soft bedding and make an access flap or openable door behind them if you want easy egg collection from outside.
5. Install Roosts and Floor
Screw a couple of strong wooden poles or branches across the coop, higher than the nests, to make roosting bars.
Leave the furniture base if it is solid, or add a simple wooden or pallet floor; cover with dry bedding like wood shavings or straw.
6. Weatherproof and Predator-Proof
Raise the furniture slightly off the ground on bricks or blocks to avoid rot and make it harder for pests to enter.
Paint or seal the outside with exterior paint, close any gaps with scrap wood, and use wire mesh to cover holes so rats, dogs, and snakes cannot get in.
7. Add a Simple Run
Attach a small wire-mesh run to the pop door using bamboo, scrap wood, or old metal pieces as a frame.
Make sure the run has shade, a dry area, and a secure top so predators cannot jump or fly in.
9 Cheap DIY Chicken Coop Ideas
There are many creative ways to build a cheap chicken coop using materials you already have or can get very cheaply. Below are 9 detailed, budget‑friendly ideas you can turn into DIY projects or blog posts.
1. Brick Base with Lightweight Top
If you have access to leftover bricks or concrete blocks, this method creates one of the strongest low-cost chicken coops. Build a short base about 30–45 cm high to protect against moisture, flooding, and rodents.
On top of the brick base, add a lightweight frame made from bamboo, scrap wood, or metal piping. Finish it with tin sheets, plastic panels, or recycled roofing material. This design works especially well in rainy or windy areas.
Extra tip: Painting the brick base with leftover exterior paint or lime wash can improve durability and help repel insects while giving the coop a cleaner look.
2. Old Furniture Coop
Old wardrobes, cabinets, or dressers can be turned into surprisingly sturdy chicken coops. Remove internal shelves, reinforce weak joints, and cut a small pop door near the bottom for chicken access.
Add ventilation holes near the top and cover them with mesh. Old drawers work perfectly as nesting boxes, and wooden poles or branches make excellent roosts. Raising the entire unit on bricks helps prevent rot and keeps pests away.
Extra tip: Choose solid wood furniture instead of particle board, as it lasts longer outdoors and holds screws more securely.
3. Bamboo Frame Chicken Tractor
A bamboo chicken tractor is ideal if you want a movable, low-cost coop. Bamboo is lightweight, strong, and easy to source in many regions. Build a simple rectangular or A-frame structure tied together with wire or rope.
Cover the sides with wire mesh and use a tarp or plastic sheet for the roof. Inside, add a small raised sleeping box with a ramp. This movable design lets your chickens graze fresh ground regularly.
Extra tip: Treat the bamboo with used engine oil or natural sealants to slow down rotting and extend its lifespan outdoors.
4. Recycled Door and Window Coop
Old doors and windows can become the backbone of a sturdy and attractive chicken coop. Use a door as the main access point for easy cleaning and feeding, and add a window to allow natural light inside.
Frame everything using scrap wood or pallets, then fill the remaining spaces with boards or plywood. Add wire mesh behind the window so it can stay open safely during warm days.
Extra tip: Hinged windows make temperature control easier, allowing you to open or close ventilation depending on the season.
5. Pallet Wall Coop
Wooden pallets are one of the easiest and cheapest building materials to find. Arrange them vertically or horizontally to form the coop walls, reinforcing weak sections with extra boards.
Line the interior with cardboard, plastic sheets, or thin plywood to block drafts. Use metal sheets or old tiles for the roof, and leave one or two mesh-covered sections for airflow.
Extra tip: Always sand rough pallet edges to prevent injuries to both chickens and yourself during cleaning or maintenance.
6. Cabinet or Kitchen Unit Coop
Old kitchen cabinets work surprisingly well as small chicken coops. Their compartments naturally create nesting and resting areas, making setup quick and efficient.
Cut ventilation holes in the back or sides, add removable trays for easy cleaning, and install roosting bars inside. Raising the unit off the ground helps protect it from dampness and pests.
Extra tip: Lining the interior with vinyl flooring scraps makes cleaning droppings much easier and keeps odors under control.
7. Scrap Wood A-Frame Coop
The A-frame design is simple, strong, and economical. Scrap wood from broken furniture or leftover construction materials can be easily shaped into a triangular frame.
Cover one side with solid boards for shelter and the other with wire mesh for airflow. The sloped sides allow rain to run off naturally and reduce water damage.
Extra tip: Adding small wheels to one end of the frame makes it easier to move the coop for fresh ground access.
This setup works well for emergencies, short-term housing, or quarantine spaces. Use wooden crates or plastic boxes as sleeping areas and raise them off the ground with bricks.
Stretch a heavy-duty tarp over a simple frame and secure all edges tightly. Surround the area with wire mesh to protect against predators and wandering pets.
Extra tip: Check the tarp regularly for tears, as even small holes can let rain in and make the interior damp.
9. Hybrid Greenhouse-Style Coop
This coop combines chicken housing with greenhouse features by using clear panels or old windows to trap warmth and light. It works especially well in cooler or rainy climates.
Pair transparent panels with solid walls on the wind-facing sides, and add ventilation near the roof to prevent moisture buildup. The bright interior keeps chickens active and comfortable.
Extra tip: During hot months, shade part of the clear panels with cloth or shade netting to prevent overheating inside the coop.
Building a chicken coop doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated. With a bit of creativity and some recycled or low-cost materials, you can create a safe, comfortable home for your flock while saving money and reducing waste.
From repurposed furniture and pallets to bamboo frames and greenhouse-style designs, each option proves that functionality matters more than fancy construction.
The key is choosing a design that suits your space, climate, and flock size while ensuring proper ventilation, protection from predators, and easy cleaning.
No matter which style you choose, a well-planned DIY coop not only keeps your chickens healthy and happy but also adds a sense of satisfaction knowing you built it yourself. With the right approach, even the simplest materials can become a sturdy and practical chicken home.
Khaja Moinuddin, a computer science graduate, finds joy in gardening and homesteading. Join him on this blog as he shares his experiences in homesteading, gardening, and composting
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Product Dimensions : 13 x 5.1 x 5.1 inches; 2.8 Pounds Item model number : 2154 Date First Available : May 18, 2024 Manufacturer : Krightlink ASIN : B0D4H7MRKM Best Sellers Rank: #1,571 in Sports & Outdoors (See Top 100 in Sports & Outdoors) #7 in Foam Rollers Customer Reviews: 4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars (787) var dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction; P.when(‘A’, ‘ready’).execute(function(A) { if (dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction !== true) { dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction = true; A.declarative( ‘acrLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault”: true }, function (event) { if (window.ue) { ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } } ); } }); P.when(‘A’, ‘cf’).execute(function(A) { A.declarative(‘acrStarsLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault” : true }, function(event){ if(window.ue) { ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } }); }); Body Relaxation: Muscle stretches and massages can be performed before and after fitness, exercise, and reduce stiffness; Relieve muscle soreness and tension, Penetrates deep into body muscles to quickly release myofascia, Improve muscle flexibility Good for Everybody: Ideal for runners, athletic athletes, yoga and Pilates students, swimmers to relax muscles and perform daily stretches after a workout, and to help reduce shoulders, arms, legs, back, buttocks, thighs, hamstrings, quads, calves lactic acid buildup after exercise High Density Material : Our foam rollers are made of PVC and EVA material and it’s good cushioning elasticity so will not lose its shape after heavy use; They’re light weight, pressure-resistant, waterproof, sweat-proof easy to clean, durable Lightweight & Portable: Our foam roller set comes with a durable Portable nylon mesh bag so it’s easy storage and transportation; It’s very suitable for home, gym and outdoor sports so that you can stretch and relax wherever you need before or after exercise or yoga 5 in 1 Foam Roller Muscle Massage Set: Package includes 1* hollow foam roller(13″*5″), 1* Muscle Roller Stick(15″), 1* massage ball(Φ2.5″), 1* stretching band(24″*2″), 1 storage bag; Protected by US Patent Nos: 9,345,921; 9,539,167 ; 9,656,112 ; 10,278,890 ;10,695,260 ;12,193,986 and 12,201,571
I used to think being triggered meant someone else was doing something wrong. Someone interrupted me, showed up late again, or spoke too loudly. My irritation felt justified. After all, the problem was clearly outside of me. Or at least that’s what I told myself.
Over time, though, I began to notice a pattern that was much harder to sit with. The things that bothered me most in other people often pointed back to something unresolved within me. Not in a neat or obvious way, and definitely not in a way I initially enjoyed examining.
Once I started paying attention, I noticed those moments of irritation became effective teachers.
“If You Spot It, You’ve Got It”
Maybe you’ve heard the phrase “if you spot it, you’ve got it.” I didn’t invent it, and I’m certainly not the first person to explore this idea. It shows up in Carl Jung’s work around the “shadow,” in modern psychology through concepts like projection. And in traditions that emphasize contemplative self-inquiry.
The idea is that strong emotional reactions to others can act like mirrors. When something really bothers us, it may be touching on something unhealed or suppressed in ourselves. That doesn’t mean we’re exactly like the other person. It doesn’t mean their behavior is acceptable or that we should tolerate harm. It simply means there’s something resonating.
This distinction matters. “If you spot it, you’ve got it” isn’t about blame or self-criticism. It’s about curiosity. It’s an invitation to look inward rather than outsourcing all discomfort to the outside world. And that shift, while uncomfortable at first, can be surprisingly freeing.
Triggers Are a Human Thing
We all have people who push our buttons. The interrupter. The know-it-all. The chronically late friend. The loud talker. The person who seems to take up all the space in the room. These reactions aren’t a personal failing but part of being human.
Our brains are wired to notice threats and negatives as a protective mechanism. Research suggests we have a strong negativity bias, meaning we’re far more likely to notice what irritates us than what delights us. While it can serve a survival purpose, it often just leaves us feeling tense and reactive.
Studies on self-reflection and emotional regulation consistently show benefits when people are willing to examine their internal responses. People who engage in self-inquiry tend to report lower stress and better emotional regulation. In other words, the work may be uncomfortable, but it’s not without payoff.
Projection and the Psychology Behind It
One useful framework for understanding this pattern is psychological projection. Projection is a defense mechanism where we attribute traits we’ve disowned or suppressed in ourselves onto someone else. Instead of saying, “I struggle with this,” we unconsciously say, “They are the problem.”
A 2001 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who denied being aggressive were more likely to see aggression in others. When we refuse to acknowledge something internally, we’re more likely to see it externally.
This doesn’t mean every annoyance is a projection. But when a reaction feels disproportionate, repetitive, or emotionally charged, it’s often worth asking why. Why this behavior? Why this person? Why this intensity?
The Mirror In Our Brains
There’s also a biological layer to this conversation. Humans have mirror neurons, which help us recognize and reflect the emotional states and behaviors of others. These neurons play a pivotal role in empathy, learning, and social connection.
Sometimes the discomfort we feel around others isn’t judgment so much as recognition. We’re seeing something familiar. Something we’ve buried, avoided, or never fully accepted. That recognition can feel threatening, especially if we’ve worked hard to suppress that trait in ourselves.
When we encounter someone openly expressing what we’ve pushed down, it can destabilize that internal balance. The irritation is less about them and more about the cost of maintaining our own internal rules.
Everyday Examples of the Mirror Effect
This shows up in subtle ways. If we’re really bothered by someone acting arrogant, it might be because we’ve suppressed our own confidence or learned that being visible wasn’t safe. If laziness triggers us, perhaps we’re overworked and resentful because we don’t allow ourselves to rest. If attention-seeking behavior irritates us, maybe there’s an unmet need for recognition we’ve never allowed ourselves to name.
Often, there’s more than one layer at play. Human behavior is rarely simple. A trigger could show both a suppressed desire and a deep fear. That complexity is why curiosity matters more than trying to come to quick conclusions.
The mirror isn’t about labeling ourselves as bad or flawed. It’s about understanding where our reactions come from and what they might be asking us to integrate.
A Personal Lesson in the Online World
I’ve spent nearly two decades working online, which still feels strange to say. I’ve lived through the early forum days, the rise of social media, and the many phases of public commentary that came with it. Over those years, my body has changed through pregnancies, health challenges, healing journeys, and seasons of stress.
Along the way, I’ve received comments that were deeply hurtful. At one point, I discovered entire online spaces dedicated to criticizing my appearance. For weeks, I replayed those words in my head and seriously considered stepping away from my work entirely.
What eventually helped wasn’t pretending those comments didn’t hurt. It was getting radically honest about why they hurt. There was an element of truth they touched on, and it mirrored insecurities I already carried. More uncomfortable still, I realized my own inner critic used similar language toward myself, and sometimes toward others in my head.
Facing that reality wasn’t easy. I realized that while I can’t control what strangers say about me on the internet, I can work on my internal dialogue. Over time, as I softened that inner voice and practiced more kindness (to myself and others), I noticed a shift. I started to see more of the positive in my own life.
The Positive Flip Side of the Mirror
This principle doesn’t only apply to negative traits. We often spot positive qualities in others because they exist within us, too. Admiration can be a mirror just as much as irritation.
When we intentionally notice generosity, courage, creativity, or kindness in others, we strengthen our ability to recognize and adopt those traits ourselves. What we practice noticing grows.
Over time, I found that training myself to see the good in others made life feel lighter. It wasn’t about ignoring reality or forcing positivity. It was about choosing where to place my attention. And that choice changed how I experienced the world.
A Simple but Powerful First Step: Pause
One of the most practical tools I’ve found is also the simplest. Stop and pause. When something triggers you, take a breath before responding. Ask what this could be showing you about yourself.
This simple question can interrupt reactive patterns. It creates space between what’s triggering us and our response in order to offer insight.
Pausing has been especially impactful as a parent. Children are incredible mirrors. They reflect our impatience, our unhealed wounds, and our unspoken expectations. Pausing allows us to meet their reality rather than defending our own.
Choosing Curiosity Over Being Right
Dr. Kelly Brogan shared a story about asking her daughters what they needed from her and what felt unhealed in their relationship. She expected glowing reviews of her job as a mom. Instead, she received honest feedback that was painful to hear.
Her instinct, like most of ours, was to defend herself, explain, and justify. Instead, she chose curiosity. She asked questions and listened. And that choice deepened the relationship with her kids rather than fracturing it.
Being right often feels safer in the moment. Being curious, though, creates connection. This applies far beyond parenting. Most conflicts soften when someone is willing to stay present with another person’s experience rather than correcting it.
The 3-2-1 Shadow Process
When a trigger feels confusing, a structured approach can help. One tool that’s been useful for me is the 3-2-1 shadow process, often attributed to Ken Wilber.
Identify the issue in the third person. What bothers you about them? Name it clearly.
Address it in the second person. In your mind, speak directly to the person and express what’s coming up.
Finally, bring it into the first person. Own the trait in some way. This doesn’t mean labeling yourself harshly. It might sound like, “There’s a part of me that struggles with this,” or “I notice this pattern in myself, too.”
When the issue lives in the first person, you have the power to work with it.
Curiosity Instead of Judgment
One of my favorite reminders comes from a scene in Ted Lasso, my favorite TV show. It references the quote, “Be curious, not judgmental.” It’s a simple but profound reminder.
Judgment shuts down learning while curiosity opens it up. When we replace “I hate when people do this” with “I wonder why this affects me?” we reclaim agency. We move from reaction to reflection.
This shift doesn’t excuse harmful behavior. It simply recognizes that our peace doesn’t have to depend on others changing.
Practicing Self-Compassion Along the Way
It’s important to approach this work with self-compassion. Noticing isn’t about fixing or blaming, but about integrating.
Blame tends to create more fragmentation, while compassion allows for healing. When we stay curious and kind with ourselves, even uncomfortable truths become manageable. I’ve found journaling to be a really helpful tool for this. Here are some prompts to get you curious:
What bothers me most in others?
Where does this show up in me, even subtly?
How might this trait serve me if it were integrated?
What would it feel like to be less affected by this?
What Changes Over Time
This work hasn’t been linear or easy, but over time, it’s helped soften my reactions and bring peace. It’s increased empathy and freed up energy that used to be tied up in irritation and judgment.
When triggers become teachers, painful moments turn into guides. They point us toward parts of ourselves asking for attention, healing, or acceptance. The things we judge in others are often the things we’re still learning to hold gently within ourselves.
Final Thoughts on Triggers
The idea that triggers can be teachers isn’t meant to be dogma. It’s an invitation to get curious and as a result find more peace. For me, it’s been a powerful shift from feeling at the mercy of external circumstances to reclaiming internal agency.
“If you spot it, you’ve got it” isn’t about shame but opportunity. It’s about returning our power to ourselves and choosing curiosity over judgment, reflection over reaction.
As Rumi wrote, “The wound is the place where the light enters you.” Sometimes our strongest reactions point directly to the places where growth is waiting, if we’re willing to look.
What are some triggers you’ve noticed in your life? How do you think you can turn these around and be more curious? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!
