As a high schooler and for most of my adult life, I assumed college was simply the next step. So much of my education was focused on preparing for college, getting good grades, and following the same path that everyone around me seemed to be following. Looking back, I never stopped to ask whether college was even the right choice for me.
Now, as a mom with children facing these same decisions, I find myself asking very different questions. This isn’t about being anti-college, but about challenging assumptions and exploring alternatives. It’s about helping our kids make intentional choices rather than simply following a default path.
The world has changed dramatically, and the conversation around higher education deserves a fresh look.
Why I Started Questioning Is College Worth It?
Like everything in life, my perspective on college is shaped by my own experience. I attended a highly respected university on a full scholarship and stipend. Most college students today though are taking on debt (sometimes a lot of it!). Yet even though I was able to attend college for basically free, I still ended up walking away eventually.
I started asking deeper questions about education, work, and what success really looked like. I came to realize that I no longer agreed with many of the assumptions that led me there in the first place. That experience was a valuable life lesson. Sometimes the most valuable question isn’t “How do I succeed on this path?” but rather “Is this the right path to begin with?”
I’m not claiming to have all the answers. In fact, the older I get, the more questions I seem to have. Yet, our children deserve the opportunity to ask those questions before investing years of their lives and potentially taking on life changing debt.
The College Landscape Has Changed
One reason this conversation feels so important is that the world looks drastically different now. The computer age has evolved into the age of artificial intelligence which has changed the landscape of future (and current) careers.
And sadly, student debt has exploded. Millions of people carry loans for decades, and many discover (too late) that student debt operates differently from other forms of debt. I personally know people who have already paid back more than they originally borrowed and still owe substantial balances due to interest. Collectively, American’s hold over 1.6 Trillion in student loan debt.
At the same time, fewer careers require traditional degrees than you would think. While some professions absolutely require specialized education and licensure, many employers are removing degree requirements. Instead, they’re placing greater emphasis on skills, experience, certifications, and showing competence.
There are also more opportunities through entrepreneurship, apprenticeships, trade careers, certifications, and digital skill development. Many of these paths require less time, less money, and people can start earning money much faster.
That doesn’t mean college never makes sense. It simply means that college is no longer the obvious answer for everyone.
The Emotional Side of the Decision
Parents often approach this conversation from a place of love and concern. We want our children to be secure, successful, and have opportunities maybe we didn’t have. For many of us, we were taught that a college degree was the golden ticket to all three.
Because of that, the college topic can become emotionally charged. There’s often a fear that our children will fall behind, miss opportunities, or somehow fail if they choose a different path. Then there’s the social pressure. Parents naturally feel proud when their child is accepted into a prestigious university. And society still tends to treat college admission as a marker of success.
But I’ve come to question whether college acceptance is actually a meaningful measure of either our success as parents or a child’s future happiness.
What most of us truly want is not a degree hanging on the wall. We want our children to build lives they love and find success. We want them to have freedom, purpose, meaningful relationships, financial stability, and the ability to contribute something valuable to the world.
But is college always the most effective way to achieve this in today’s world?
An Expensive Delay
One idea that’s stayed with me is that college sometimes functions as a way to put off decisions, rather than a destination. Many teenagers graduate high school unsure of who they are, what they want, or what they hope their lives will look like. Honestly, many adults still wrestle with those questions.
I know I certainly did. At 18, I hoped college would help me discover my purpose, but it didn’t really. That doesn’t mean college never helps people find direction. However, it’s worth asking whether spending tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars is the best way to search for answers.
For many students, college becomes a way to postpone difficult questions:
- What kind of life do I want?
- What kind of work excites me?
- What values matter most to me?
- What am I uniquely gifted to contribute?
Those are important questions and they deserve attention. If the primary reason for attending college is to avoid answering them for another four years, that may be worth examining honestly.
One of the strongest arguments for college is community, which is understandable. Teens naturally crave connection, belonging, friendship, and shared experiences. In fact, those needs are developmentally appropriate and incredibly important.
When I was younger, one of the biggest attractions of college was the idea of continuing life with my friends. The social aspect was far more appealing than sitting in classrooms. But I started asking a different question. Is college the only way (or even the best way) to build meaningful community?
College creates an artificial environment where thousands of people of similar age, experience, and life stage spend time together. While that can be exciting, it’s also very different from how most adult life works.
Real-world communities are usually more diverse. They include people of different ages, backgrounds, professions, experiences, and perspectives. They often form around shared values, common goals, service, faith, work, hobbies, or mutual interests.
In my own life, the relationships that have lasted longest weren’t based on sharing a campus. They were built around shared values and meaningful life experiences. Community matters deeply, but I don’t think college has a monopoly on it.
The Alternatives Many Teens Never Hear About
One thing I wish I had known as a teenager is that there were other options. Growing up, I genuinely viewed college as mandatory, like the 13th grade. Other options weren’t even on my radar. I think young people today deserve a much broader picture.
Trades are one example. Thanks to changing workforce demographics and labor shortages, many skilled trades are experiencing tremendous demand. Skilled tradesmen and other professionals often enjoy strong job security, a good income, and significantly less (or no) long term educational debt.
Apprenticeships provide another path. Instead of paying to learn, students can often earn while they learn. Internships and volunteer opportunities can also create valuable career connections. Many people discover careers they love through real-world experience rather than from sitting inside a classroom.
Travel can be an incredible teacher as well. Exposure to different cultures, lifestyles, and perspectives often provides education that no textbook can replicate. More and more teens are choosing to take a “gap year” to travel and discover what they’re wanting from their future.
Certifications offer another option. Depending on a student’s interests, certifications in areas like fitness, technology, design, project management, or skilled trades can lead directly to meaningful work. One of my kids is really big into athletics and they’re currently looking into a personal trainer certification. These can be a faster path and even rival the salary of college degrees.
The goal isn’t to convince every young person to avoid college, but to realize that they have other choices.
The Financial Reality of Student Loans
This is where the conversation gets serious for me. If there’s one area where I have particularly strong feelings, it’s student loan debt. For the past 10 years I’ve purposefully tried to let go of strong opinions of things, but this is one area I’ve actually gotten even stronger on.
Teenagers are often asked to sign financial agreements involving tens of thousands of dollars before they’ve ever paid rent, managed a household budget, or experienced adult financial responsibilities.
That concerns me. Many young people understandably focus on the promise of future earnings. What they often don’t fully understand is how interest, repayment timelines, and debt obligations can shape their choices for decades.
Debt affects more than finances. It influences career decisions, housing options, family planning, entrepreneurial opportunities, and overall freedom. Meanwhile, someone who enters the workforce earlier may begin earning and investing years before a traditional college graduate enters full-time employment.
Those years matter because compounding works in both directions. Debt compounds, but so do investments, savings, skills, and experience. That’s why I believe every family should carefully examine the true financial cost of higher education before making a decision.
What About Sports?
Sports add another layer to this conversation. Many young athletes are told that college is the main way to continue their athletic careers. Depending on the sport, that may sometimes be true, but it’s still worth asking questions.
If the goal is playing a sport at the collegiate level, college obviously makes sense. But if the goal is long-term athletic development, professional competition, or simply remaining active in a sport, there may be other paths worth exploring. Private coaching, club teams, travel competition, independent training, and specialized development programs are a few. These can provide opportunities outside the traditional college system.
As a parent, I want my children to understand all of their options before making major commitments. And regardless of what they choose, I want that choice to come from thoughtful consideration not just assumptions.
The Questions I Hope My Kids Ask
As my children approach adulthood, I’m trying less to give answers and more to encourage good questions. These are the questions I wish I’d stopped and asked myself before choosing college. These are the questions I’m prompting my kids to ask as they make these decisions.
Questions like:
- What kind of life do you want at 25, 30, or 40?
- How important is the idea of starting a family and what age do you think you’ll be open to that?
- What kind of schedule and flow (not just job) do you want as an adult?
- What does success feel like to you?
- How important is financial freedom?
- What skills would you like to develop?
- What type of work genuinely excites you?
- What kind of people do you want surrounding you?
- What lifestyle do you hope to create?
- What if you don’t need a degree to do what you love?
I also encourage them to think beyond careers. I want them to consider relationships, family, purpose, contribution, community, and the kind of person they hope to become. Ultimately, life is much bigger than a job title.
Is College Worth It?: Final Thoughts
This conversation is really about agency and helping our kids realize they have options. It’s about empowering them to make intentional decisions rather than following a path simply because it’s what everyone else expects. College can absolutely be a valuable choice in certain situations. However, it’s no longer the only path to a meaningful, successful life. And I would argue it’s no longer the best path in many cases.
As a parent, my goal isn’t to choose for my children. My goal is to support them, help them ask better questions, and trust them to discover their own path. Whether that path includes college, a trade, entrepreneurship, travel, apprenticeships, athletics, or something entirely different.
I want them to move forward with clarity, confidence, and freedom. Most of all, I want them to know that no matter what they choose, they will always have my unconditional love and support.
Are your kids considering college or doing something else? What kinds of questions would you want them to ask when deciding? Share below!
